Joe Rogan and Kevin Smith Podcast 134

 

Bryan:  Yeah

 

Kevin Smith:  I read magazines all the time in the toilet.  If you read magazines, you essentially..  your chocking out your leg.  Yeah, that’s why jujitsu works.  Jujitsu works cause you cut off the blood.  And when your feet go numb  as your putting all the pressure on yourself of the weight.  Your.. your.. essentially chocking out your legs

 

Bryan:  And making hemoroids

 

Kevin Smith:  That’s what it is?

 

Joe Rogan: Yeah.. yeah.. when you choke someone out.  And a jujitsu choke.  What your doing is stopping the blood to the brain.  Cutting it of, stopping it from happening.  Squeezing it.  That’s what your doing when your sitting here on the toilet.  If you have this hard surface beneath your leg.  And your top of your leg. you basically giving your feet a slow choke

 

Kevin Smith:  Oh my god dude.  Alright I do this all the time

 

Joe Rogan: I do too

 

Kevin Smith:  I sit on the toilet for like so long..

 

Joe Rogan: (laughs)

 

Kevin Smith:  when I get up.. I get pins and needles,  I cant walk.  I need to lean on the wall.  And then sometimes.  I try to man up and get thru it.  But by the time I hit the bedroom. Cause you start laughing cause it so.. your out of control of it..

 

Joe Rogan: yeah

 

Kevin Smith:  Cause the nerves all dead.  And my wife was just..  how long?  when you gonna learn?  Like you go in, you shit, you get out.

 

Joe Rogan: (laughs)

 

Kevin Smith:  Why are you staying in there till your fucking falls asleep.  You know cause I’m getting shit done.  But.. I.. its I guess that’s un-healthy

 

Joe Rogan: I read car magazines

 

Kevin Smith:  Is that what you do?  I go on the internet tweeting

 

Joe Rogan: Its the only time I read car magazines.  I wont let myself go on the internet on the toilet.  That’s where it gets ridiculous.  I might go down to the occasional magazine.  At least I might finish a Matt Tahibi Rolling Stone article in here, on the crapper

 

Bryan:  You wipe sitting up or sitting down?

 

Joe Rogan: What the fuck.. like you mean, stand

 

Bryan:  yes.. stand

 

Joe Rogan: Who are you?

 

Kevin Smith:  I’ve never done that?

 

Bryan:  You never stand and wipe up

 

Kevin Smith:  Only when I was a kid.  Then this is weird.  Wow.. alright your getting something on me.  I’ve haven’t said publicly.  It maybe ever. When I was a kid.  I remember ah.. like ah.. I’m taking a shit and I’m trying to remember what I ate.  It will be like, I’m done.  Somebody would get up, and stand up, and they wipe your ass for you. I think I did that till I was 7.  Which is weird

 

Bryan:  Woah.  It is weird

 

Kevin Smith:  Yeah, but it was pretty good.  Like in terms of like.  I didn’t really have to, figure out how to fuckin and wipe my own shit for until that point

 

Bryan:  And then you have to train yourself how to do it,  from sitting down

 

Kevin Smith:  I think it was ever perfected.  Or an ever perfecting art form.  Like the art of the wipe.  Its not.. you know.. there’s no one true measure and I think it develops as you get older.  You learn better technique and stuff.  But uhm.. No, not since then.  I’m more of a front wiper though.  I’ll reach, cause I got a lot of back fat.  Rather than reach around.  I reach towards my lean forward and reach to my legs on.. wiping almost like my man-puss..

 

 

Bryan:  Right

 

Kevin Smith:  But I clear the balls so it doesn’t hit my balls or anything like that.  (sings) fascinating it what is is

 

Bryan:  The wet wipes has really helped my life ever since.  Like they just come out of nowhere.  Couldn’t they have this on the 70′s or so?

 

Kevin Smith:  Will Smith was the first one that call them into my attention.  I mean that baby wipes.. I mean those flushables they didn’t have

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70

Speak Your Mind